When I first started writing this Diary, I promised you guys I would be candid and transparent because I wanted to treat this as a real diary, just online for you to read. Many of you have no idea how much bravery that takes – how hard it is to put your innermost thoughts and feelings out there for public consumption. I know most of these entries have (more or less) been in a light-hearted vein, but that’s Life – we don’t live in soap operas, and I’m one of those people that tries to see the good over the bad. If you look back at some of my past entries, however, you’ll see many moments of anger, hurt, and overall seriousness.

This is going to be one of those entries.

My brother was in a car accident, as many of you know, and though he doesn’t seem badly hurt, he doesn’t stay awake for very long either. At one point I was asked to leave the hospital because I went into a rage over the ineptitude of the nurses and doctors…which wasn’t fair to them. I just needed someone to vent to, someone to blame, and they were the easiest targets. I have since apologized, and they accepted, but still.

Thing is, I genuinely have thanatophobia (fear of death), and when it comes to my big brother, it’s intensified.

The doctors are worried that he’ll slip into a coma. I’m so glad Natalie and Anne are here, and even Rebecca came over late last night and hasn’t left my side since. She’s being way more supportive than I deserve. The house seems so strange without my brother’s presence in it. He has this aura that’s hard to explain…without him here, everything just seems a lot less colorful. Empty.

Needless to say, my mind has been on this all day, which is horrible for creativity and productivity. I worked on Beta Reader Hit Squad revisions of Killer Lolis, flushed out Amore some, zoned out a bit with Animal Crossing: New Leaf… Oh, and caught up on Total Divas and Empire on Hulu Plus because I missed this week’s episodes.

And that’s been my day. Hopefully, your Saturday went better than mine.

Alexa out…




“An intellectual is a person who’s found one thing that’s more interesting than sex.”

– Aldous Huxley


  1. Jim on 11th November 2017 at 9:31 pm

    As i said earlier, I’m sorry to hear about your brother. I pray he heals quickly. Keep your head up and think positive thoughts. Be strong for him if nothing else.!! He’ll be home before u know it and u can lay down some serious ‘spider monkey’ on his ass!! Until then, your fans and friends will keep u and your brother in our thoughts!! ❤️🙏

    • Alexa Nichols on 12th November 2017 at 7:57 pm

      Every time someone says anything about me having “fans” I cringe. I don’t know why. I don’t ever want to see myself as any sort of celebrity. Ever. I’m just a writer that loves what she does. But I understand your message. And I appreciate it. More than you know, love. 🙂

  2. Richie on 12th November 2017 at 10:57 am

    Hi Alexa, Randi and I are very sorry to hear what you’re going through. Hopefully tomorrow’s entry will be filled with good news.

    Richie and Randi

    • Alexa Nichols on 12th November 2017 at 7:58 pm

      I wish it could have been. Sorry to disappoint. 🙁 Thank you for your thoughts, Richie. You are amazing, and I am honored to call you Friend. #Love

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