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Alexa: Sandwich Maker! 🥪

Dear Diary,

What many of you might not know about me is that I’m a bonafide health nut. This stems from being the exact opposite for the first half of my life and having to deal with the consequences of that lifestyle choice. I’m very strict on myself, especially with what I eat, when I eat it, and how often/long I work out. Most of the time, at least.

Until Debauchery Day, that is.

Every Saturday I kind of cut loose, ignoring all the strict rules I enforce upon myself and basically just do and eat whatever I want. No working out, eating whatever I feel like (like a souped-up cappuccino, a double shot of coffee, and a pint of ice cream – all at the same time) and basically just being, you know, slovenly. I even wear sweatpants. 😳

Of course, I usually suffer the consequences for this on Sunday, which I use to recover from my abuse, but that’s not the point.

The point is this: during this time of self-inflicted torture, I kind of mentally just cut loose and do things I usually wouldn’t do.

Like gamble.

During this past Saturday my brother and I were watching Celebrity Ninja Warrior on Hulu, and I made a bet with him concerning one of the contestants, WWE superstar Nikky Bella: I bet that she would clear the entire track, cause, you know, Girl Power motherfucker. He took me up on the bet, we set the stakes, and I watched intently as my girl started through the course.

She failed on the first obstacle. 🙄

I am now my brother’s official sandwich maker for a week. Seven fucking days. And he has not given me any kind of a break either.

In other life-highlights, my girlfriend Rebecca told me I need butt implants. 😭 She spent the night yesterday, see, and this morning I went through my normal ritual of writing for a handful of hours, after which I got up and walked around for a bit to get circulation back in my legs. I mused out loud that a pillow might make my chair more comfortable which caused Rebecca to chime in with “nah, you just need to grow a butt.”

You can almost feel the love, can’t you?

So that’s been my life this past couple of days: writing, more writing, abusing my body, and sandwich making. Oh, and thinking of ways to score on my girlfriend for giving me a butt complex. Fascinating life I have, right? 😅

Anyway, I love you guys.

I really do.

Thank you for reading, my loves…

#Alexa

 

P.S.: Voyeur Season 2, Episode 1 is now available for February 1st preorder! Snag a copy here: https://buff.ly/2AOWLVE

 

“Although people often equate them, glamour is not the same as beauty, stylishness, luxury, celebrity, or sex appeal. It is not limited to fashion or film; nor is it intrinsically feminine. It is not a collection of aesthetic markers – a style, as fashion and design use the word.”

– Virginia Postrel

1 Comment

  1. Lamar on 8th November 2018 at 7:35 pm

    Stuck on sandwich duty, I see for a week? I wish you was making me a sandwich, Alexa for a week! 😉 But, No to the butt implants cause you’re already beautiful just the way you are!

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