Giving it to my besties doggie 😳

Dear Diary,

I know it been a few days since my last entry, but I have several good reasons for that: life sucks ass. I posted something on social media earlier today that succinctly describes why I’ve been absent these past few days:

They say bad things come in threes…

• Swamped with Real Life© crap that kept me away from writing.
• Immediately after hit with a migraine that kept me from writing.
• Migraine was gone this morning…but my vision is blurry unless I’m JUST enough away from something.

And you know what? I don’t give a fuck. I’m going to write because I’m going crazy over here. You motherfuckers will just have to learn to love the typos until my vision clears. 😅

And there you have it. So, if there are any typos in this entry, you’ll just have to learn to love them.

On a separate note, I don’t think I mentioned this to anyone yet, but currently I’m at the besties dog-sitting for the next three days all by my lonesome. And let me tell you, this is one clingy, codependent miniature schnauzer. He’s so adorable though, and every time I look at him I just want to go over and play with/cuddle/tickle him. I can’t help it. It doesn’t help that if he catches me looking at him he bounds over and practically jumps in my lap. 😆 If my big brother wasn’t such an animal racist, I would have one of my own.

Maybe I should get some of you to spam his email.

And while you’re at it, you can petition to liberate Skynet (my drone) from wherever the fuck he’s hiding it. Cause I can’t find that motherfucker anywhere! 😳

Anyway, being here by myself with da doggie has been a real meditative experience. I’ve been using the time to catch up on porn writing and author tasks, which really needed it as these past few days I’ve been in my bed moaning and whining. For all of you guys that wrote me and inquired as to my health, thank you so much. It means more to me than you know.

And speaking of things that mean a lot to me: my new VIP tier Patreon, Troy Lake! Thank you so much for joining! I’m willing to bet that you’ll like all the perks your VIP status will get you. 😏

Also, Anne. Girl, I have no idea why you put up with me, but I’m so glad you do. Especially when migraines hit. Luckily, they only happen every few months, but still. You’re so patient and understanding. You’re going to make a fantastic mother one day. For reals. You’re practically my mom now! Maybe I should change my last name to Barrett… 😛

This entry is long enough, and my eyes are really starting to hurt, so I’m signing off. Thank you for reading, everyone.

Seriously.

#Alexa

💡 The More You Know 💡

The average human sperm cell or spermatocyte contains about 37.5Mb of genetic data. So when orgasm occurs, roughly 1.5Gb of data is ‘ejaculated’ in about 3 seconds, a data transfer rate 6 orders of magnitude, or a few million times, faster than an average internet connection.