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Don’t be a sea cucumber!

Dear Diary, Something most people know about me: I’m a sensitive person. Things can quickly get to my heart, often before I have a chance to filter them through my mind. Which means I’m quick to feel a whole bevy of emotions: anger, love, disappointment, elation, excitement, fear. Something you might not know about me:…

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Who I did during my vacation…*

Dear Diary, This year has, so far, sucked proverbial balls. I’ve gotten into a wreck, had a screaming match with a Medicaid driver (twice!), was hit by a strange sickness that caused my temperature to shoot up to 103°, had half a dozen arguments with the people closest to me, already broke one of my…

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Anne’s murderous vagina, outsourcing, and projectile vomiting!

Dear Diary, So, Anne’s vagina nearly killed me today. See, I was sitting at my writing station eating an orange, being the normal innocent halo-wearing angel I usually am. You know, editing erotica and watching adult videos for, uh, reference and stuff. And then out of nowhere Anne busts out with- “Pikachu said hi.” I…

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Getting bitten and being pregnant…

Dear Diary, I’ve been officially bitten by the Halloween bug. I tried to resist it, ignore it, and replace it with other habits (meth, crack, Skyrim), but nothing worked. I finally snapped the other day, and now everything in my house and Anne’s has been Halloweenified. Our phones, computers, accounts on our video game systems,…

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Let’s talk about murder…

Dear Diary, I’ve been working feverishly on finishing my seven-book Exitium Mundi series, which segues into my Nephilim pentalogy, and reality has mostly melted around me as a result. It’s an enormous amount of fun, but fuck am I ready for this series to be over with! I have so many other books I want…

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My brother getting white girl wasted and swan-diving off the wagon.

Dear Diary, My big brother’s personality type could probably best be described as stoic. Dude has like zero sense of humor, and he rarely shows any emotion. He hardly makes expressions, seldom shows affection, and generally just tends to glower when he looks at you. Considering he’s big, muscled, and bald, this tends to intimidate…

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