Fighting the urge. And (re)mastering the art of the spider monkey…

Dear Diary,

I’m going through a period that I seem to run into every year: the urge to take an extended break from authoring and social media in general. The whole digital space, basically. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, however, because when I decide to take a break, I’m always miserable. Authoring is so much a part of who I am that it feels almost as if I chose to quit showering or something when I’m not doing it. I can survive without it, but the longer I don’t, the more uncomfortable and unpleasant I become. It’s a bit like a drug addiction in that way, I suppose…

So, this time, this year, I am trying something different: not taking a break. I figured instead, I’d do different author-related things, maybe not always just writing. Working on Subscribestar Adult content, for example. Maybe brainstorm my current writing project with my baby squirrel or my new ultra-secret and kinky (read: highly perverted and erotic) serial project I’m releasing exclusively on Subscribestar Adult. So far, it’s proving to be a winning mindset because I’m still getting author work done and even writing a bit here and there when the urge strikes. I read how some authors write every day for hours and hours with no breaks, and it kills me. I mean, how the fuck do they pull that off?! That would be like eating the same food prepared the same way at the same time every single day. It would drive me crazy…

Anyway.

So let me tell you about my big brother (who I will refer to during the rest of this story affectionately as motherfucker).

He has a habit of dryly saying things that cut to the bone, things most normal people usually keep to themselves. Like the other day, I made a comment about spider-monkeying him, and he gave me a quick look and shook his head. Before I could ask what the hell that was all about, this motherfucker blurts out, I don’t think you can spider monkey anymore. You’re too out of shape. I audibly squeaked in outrage. Sure, I’m not working out as harshly as last year, but then I’m not doing the things that would require me to work out that religiously, either. I’m in decent shape, maybe a little pudgy here and there, but still – I’m not morbidly obese or anything.

My response: to get off the couch and fly across the room, giving him an aerial spider monkey that would cause him to lose his soul.

That was the plan, at least.

Here’s how it went down:

I slid off the couch and turned to face him, immediately (and with absolutely no grace) plopping down onto the floor. After recovering my footing, I bounced up and ran towards him – and promptly slammed my left foot into a table leg so hard that my poor little toes screamed in outrage. By the time I made it to him, I didn’t have enough momentum to jump, so he just grabbed me and picked me up, moving me to the side and walking past.

And to make matters more insulting, I was a little out of breath.

So now I’m focusing on my health again, fighting like hell to ensure my spider monkeying is back where it should be. I’ll just practice on my Baby Squirrel every so often to gauge my progress. I’ll keep everyone updated… 😏

#Alexaliens

 

💡 The More You Know 💡

Funny men may lead to more orgasms!

A study in the Evolutionary Psychology Journal found that women have more orgasms when sleeping with funny men.

Image by Robin Strozyk from Pixabay

 

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