The gravitational pull of Anne’s ass and the calm before the storm

Dear Diary,

I think Anne’s ass fractured my hand. Here’s how it went down: we woke up this morning and as she was getting out of bed the gravitational pull of her ass forced my hand to whip out and smack it. Now keep in mind she sleeps naked, so there were no clothes to soften the blow. It was brutal; it could have been career-ending. 😳

And then she had the audacity to turn around and blame me, like it was my fault or something. Some people have no sympathy – or understanding of science. It’s amazing I’m even able to write this entry. She’s out getting alcohol for me as I write this to try and ease the pain.

Of course, getting drunk might not be the smartest thing to do considering tomorrow is the first of the month, and I have about several dozen tasks that will be due. But whatever. Tomorrow will deal with itself, right?

Before I go: Facebook has apparently been on a censoring rampage with my Diary entries all of a sudden, so if you comment on anything there, I may or may not see it. Also, my web dude fixed the issues with the comments box, so you should be able to leave comments without an error. If any of you are still having problems, please let me know. Finally, tomorrow is the day Good Girls Gone Bad launches, so don’t forget to grab yourself a copy. I would appreciate it. 😊

I hope all of you are enjoying your weekend so far.

Time to go get drunk! 🍻

#Alexa

 

“It’s not an anti-sex trip. Like, we’re taking sex, which is probably another half of American entertainment, sex and violence, and we’re projecting it, and we’re saying this is the way everything is right now.”

– Alice Cooper