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Why I’m scared of my own shadow…

Dear Diary,

I know some of you may feel like I’ve been neglecting you. My email responses have been sparse, my social media presence has been bare bones, and the frequency of my Diary posts suck ass. I’m actually thinking about going back to a daily post, but I’m not sure how interesting that would be to people. I’ve been trying to focus more on quality than quantity lately, but the reality is this was never intended to be a blog or anything – this was supposed to be my online digital diary, open for all to see. Because openness rocks. Most of the time. Anyway, the reason my social skills have sucked this week is that I have been writing my skinny white ass off. Mainly on this story:

It’s one of my Erotic Urban Legends that I make for my Patreon members. My original idea was to just write a free-flowing horror story, to not even use an outline or anything, and to keep it short – like under 2,500 words or so.

Fast forward two fucking weeks. 😑

It currently sits at 16,000 words and is (finally) in its final stages of revision! I swear, this fucking story has consumed my life. And not entirely in a good way. Ever since I started writing it I’ve been having nightmares, and being alone has started to creep me out. And don’t even get me talking about looking in mirrors when no one else is around.

It’s not pretty.

Is it bad that I’m scaring myself with my own story?! I feel like I’m scared of my own shadow anymore. Like, I have to have people around me, or I start to freak. What’s really bad is after I finish this I’m bopping back to the final revisions of Family Values, another scary story. And then Voyeur: Season 2, Episode 4, which is currently at a dystopian The Handmaid’s Tale type of scenario. After that, I’m finishing up the rough draft of Nephilim: Prisoner. It’s like one scary story after another! 😭

I think I need to balance this shit out with some comedy or something. Maybe a quick funny Phi Beta Pie kind of thing, I dunno. Suggestions? Maybe I’ll shoot something out this weekend. Which means direct message me with ideas, motherfuckers! 😅

Until then: Skyrim time. So much Skyrim time…



“Understand that sexuality is as wide as the sea. Understand that your morality is not law. Understand that we are you. Understand that if we decide to have sex whether safe, safer, or unsafe, it is our decision and you have no rights in our lovemaking.”

– Derek Jarman


  1. Ronnie Mullins on November 2, 2018 at 10:11 pm

    Who would have guessed that the demoness princess is a wuss lok jk as for suggestions I’d love to see what happened to the twins after Phi Beta Pie

    • Alexa Nichols on November 6, 2018 at 7:41 pm

      Gotcha! 😎 And I am a wuss sometimes. Just ask my brother! 😅

  2. Lamar on November 2, 2018 at 10:33 pm

    You have been working that white ass off and that’s good! The days goes by much quickly now. 😂😂🤔 Overall, you haven’t abandoned me at all. Even all of my reviews that I’ve done for you on Amazon all gone. 😭😭😭😭😭 However, they are going only on Goodreads though.

    • Alexa Nichols on November 6, 2018 at 7:42 pm

      So strange. Let me know what they say when you email them… 😳

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