My Butt…

It all started with my butt.

Last night after I finished my “blog” (I keep fighting against calling it a diary) I showered and watched the movie “The Do Over” (which is surprisingly awesome for an Adam Sandler movie) and promptly went to bed.

And then I had an itch. On my butt. So I scratched it.

Apparently, my nails are Freddy Kruegerish because I managed to cut myself right under my lower left butt cheek – and I could not manage for the life of me to put a Band-Aid on it because it’s in such an odd location that I couldn’t really reach it. And it was bleeding like I stabbed myself or something.

So, needless to say, my brother was not amused when I yelled out to him to come bandage my butt. Especially since he was already sleeping. It’s his fault: that’s what he gets for being my brother! (I actually told him this in retort to his smartass comment when he came in, and couldn’t hold the laugh in after because it admittedly made absolutely no sense)

When he finished and left, I tried to go to sleep, but I kept wanting to itch at it, and then my mind went racing. My birthday coming up in seven days (I’ll be 30!) … the novel I’m working on (cover reveal Friday, bitches!) … my website… and how far I’ve managed to come as an author in general. Everything I had read online told me to expect maybe one or two sales a month, with a small handful of “page read” income.

Not to brag, but… I’m doing considerably better than that.

It’s really humbling, and exciting at the same time. I’m nowhere near where I want to be, but I know if I keep pushing myself and honing my craft I’ll definitely get there.

Anyway, all of this was dancing through my mind last night, plus a few special people I’ve come to meet online (you know who you are – if I’ve ever sent you a candid picture of myself, I’m talking to you) … so I eventually just gave up on sleep and jumped out of bed around 1 AM and grabbed a 40 out of the fridge – Steel Reserve of course – and started tearing through my day’s tasks. (I normally don’t drink during the week, but decided to make an exception)

I was on a rampage for a while, too – transformed my first Quickies Cumpilation into a paperback (waiting on Amazon to approve it), set up an appointment for a pap smear, and worked a handful of hours on my top-secret novel.

And then I woke up around noon in my bed.

Apparently, Joseph (my big brother), came into my room to find me deeply asleep, face-planted on my keyboard. He then carried me to my bed and tucked me in. He’s done this a lot, but then he’s 300 lbs. of muscle to my 100 lbs., so he has little problem manhandling me at will.

Anyway, once I finally woke up I hit the ground running. Which means more writing and cover work.

I probably won’t go to sleep tonight, either, because as I write this I’m sipping on a 32 oz. thermos of my patented “Crackuccino” (as my brother likes to call it) – which is basically comprised of Hills Bros White Chocolate Caramel (this, boys, is the key to my heart), whole milk, sugar-free powder (my brother is borderline diabetic, so that’s all we use), and love.

It’s delicious, but my body reacts strangely to coffee – it goes into a supernova. I act like a crack-addict for like a day and a half, then sputter out of energy and crash hard. This crash is what I need to reset my sleep schedule back to something resembling normalcy.

So I plan on getting a LOT of writing done tonight. And talk to a few of my peeps.

Anyway, see you guys tomorrow. #Love

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