Crying, being manic, and needing a translator

Dear Diary,

Sometimes you have to have a knockdown, drag-out fight with someone to realize just how much they mean to you. Which is what happened to Anne and me today. I’m not going to get into what the fight was about because in retrospect it was stupid as hell, but it was terrible. We were yelling, throwing things, and generally just being ridiculous. It’s not the first time we’ve had a fight like this, but it has been a long time since it last happened. Afterwards, we were all crying and hugging each other… and I still feel sorry for the things I said and did. She does too, and I think we’re starting to get on each other’s nerves from apologizing too much.

It’s a beautiful problem to have.

Why am I telling you guys all this? Simple: because I’m not perfect. Not by a long shot. I know sometimes people get this perception of me because I accomplish and juggle so much, but in reality, I’m only able to do these things because I have a fantastic team behind me and I’m more than a little manic. Of course, there are consequences to this: my personal life is usually a hot mess… and that’s putting it nicely… and more often than not I have such tunnel vision with whatever project I’m working on that people and situations outside of it rarely exist for me. I have to fight to socialize, to not become a complete hermit.

It’s worth the fight. Always.

But for any of you out there that have any illusions as to me being perfect, now you know. I’m nowhere near.

Speaking of which. Amazon.

For a while now I was perplexed as to why one of my books, No, Daddy! I’m (STILL) Not Mommy!, was rejected as a paperback even though it was accepted for eBook and audiobook distribution. Not only that, but its been selling. I’ve been nervous about writing Amazon about this as I didn’t want them to yank the eBook and audiobook versions, but I finally just said flip it and wrote the following:

 

I have been selling this as a Kindle Select title and audiobook, but for some reason, the paperback is showing as “Blocked.” What needs to be done to publish this paperback alongside the Kindle and ACX/Audible versions?

 

I received the following response this morning:

 

Hello,

We’re contacting you regarding the following title:

No, Daddy! I’m (STILL) Not Mommy! (ID:PRI-G56XQEVMA8E)

We’ve confirmed that your book(s) contains content that is in violation of our content guidelines and we will not be offering this title for sale on Amazon. As stated in our guidelines, we reserve the right to determine what we consider to be appropriate, which includes cover images and content within the book.

If you wish to re-publish your book(s) with content that meets our guidelines, it will need to be submitted as an entirely new book and go through our standard review process. Previous customer reviews, tags, and sales rank information are not transferable because the title will essentially be a different product.

Our content guidelines are published on the KDP website.

To learn more, please see: https://kdp.amazon.com/help?topicId=A2TOZW0SV7IR1U

We appreciate your understanding.

Amazon.com

 

This makes no fucking sense to me. Maybe someone skilled in Amazonese can translate. Seriously. Like, if you have any idea what the fuck they’re talking about, please let me know.

Anyway, that’s all for this entry. I need to lay down and digest the day.

I love you all…

#Alexa

 

“Sex is like washing your face – just something you do because you have to. Sex without love is absolutely ridiculous. Sex follows love, it never precedes it.”

– Sophia Loren