Anne squirting and why Facebook sucks ass

Dear Diary,

Anne and I apparently have abandonment issues. She went to her doctor’s appointment today to get the results of a blood test she took several weeks back (results: bougie-itis) and even though I usually go with her, I stayed behind so I could work on author stuff – mainly the fine-tuning of Good Girls Gone Bad. I felt terrible about not going with her, but I’ve been falling behind on so much these past few days due to Real Life… Anyway, while she was gone we bombed each other on Facebook Messenger, and I learned three very interesting things:

1. Apparently, when she’s being silly, she will threaten to squirt on you as a form of attack.
2. Our meme game is intense. We had a period of almost a half hour where we were sending each other nothing but memes.
3. Facebook Messenger will not allow you to send someone a link to a porn video.

This last one really threw us off. I mean, what the fuck? We’re both adults. We’re both friends. We can’t send a link to a porn video to each other?! (If you’re wondering why, it’s because I was drafting out a lesbian-ish threesome scene and needed some inspiration. You can watch the video yourself here: https://www.xvideos.com/video959510/threesome_with_a_guy_and_two_teen_girls). I mean, the video isn’t even that bad as far as porn goes!

So, me being me, I did a little research. I found the following articles:

• https://444.hu/2016/11/14/facebook-is-reading-your-private-messages-and-blocks-you-if-it-doesnt-like-the-link-you-send-to-your-friends
• https://www.timeslive.co.za/sunday-times/business/2018-04-05-facebook-scans-the-photos-and-links-of-your-private-messenger-texts/
• https://www.facebook.com/help/community/question/?id=248656601995186

It seems I’m becoming more and more disenchanted with Facebook every day. I may just pull an Elon Musk and delete my Facebook altogether. I dunno.

Anyway, back down the rabbit hole I go!

Until tomorrow, my loves…

#Alexa

The More You Know

Human males ejaculate at 27mph.