Lap dancing in public ā or, how I almost got kicked out of a restaurant š
This day did not go as planned. I did manage to finish the rough draft of The Sirenās Song (which took way longer than I anticipated ā you can read it here https://buff.ly/2KwjRTN if you want), and I figured Iād just wait until the bestie got off work and get picked up by the brother unit. Then weād go home, and I would cuddle with an enjoyable book and read until I got tired.
But no.
My brother wanted to test me.
Which is why I almost got kicked out of a buffet restaurant.
Maybe I should explain.
See, my brother knows I have this sort of phobia of buffets, probably because when I was younger I had aā¦well, a fairly serious eating disorder that put me in the hospital a few times. Heās been trying to break me of this phobia for a while now, but I just have this intense dislike bordering on apathy for anything that even looks like a buffet. I canāt help it. Itās called a phobia (an irrational fear) for a reason.
So, of course, my brother thought it would be an excellent idea to take Anne and me to one of the biggest buffets in the area when I mentioned I was hungry on the way home. Anne, of course, was all for it, but I threw a bit of a tantrum when we got there and refused to get out of the car.
Am I proud of this? Of course I am. Motherfucker knew better. I blame him for my tantrum. š
Anyway, flash forward about 15 minutes. Weāre sitting at the table with our plates (he bribed me with the return of Skynet ā my drone ā to get me out of the car), and Anne got a plate of various vegetables and meat while my knuckle-dragging brother got two plates stacked with every dead animal he could find. And a breadstick. One breadstick. Cause balance, apparently. I got a salad.
Youāre probably wondering how I was almost kicked out.
Iām getting to it.
Be patient. š
See, I finished my plate long before everyone else did, so I got bored, and a bored Alexa is never a good thing. I started walking around the restaurant talking to people at the other tables, admiring babies, shaking hands and sitting down with other couples⦠I probably looked like I was running for office or something. My brother, irritated with this (which was kind of the goal) called me back to the table and told me to sit down.
So, I did.
On Anneās lap.
And then proceeded to give her a lap dance. Your girl can give a mean lap dance. š
Iāve never seen my brother eat so fast before!
His fault. I told him I didnāt want to go. Motherfucker should have listened.
Apparently, I created so much of a scene that the manager came out to talk to us, warning me that if I didnāt stop he would have to ask us to leave. I countered by asking him if he read erotica, because I happen to be an author of it and if he visited alexanichols.com he could see for himself. (Always push the merch! š) He didnāt even answer, he just mumbled something and walked away.
Coincidentally, I did have more sales than usual earlierā¦
Sigh.
I got off Anneās lap and behaved the rest of the time, watching my brotherās face gradually return to its standard healthy pink color. It went through quite a few shades first though. š
It was fun.
Anyway, I love you all.
Thanks for reading.
#Alexa
š” The More You Know š”
Opossums have a double-headed penis.
Lol š you naughty girl bet that was a sight to see. Itās too bad that someone didnāt get it on there phone š± cam and put it on YouTube š¤£š¤£š¤£ hopefully the brother unit kept his word still and returned your precious Skyrim.
I DIDNāT EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT! š³ I need to be more careful in public! š At least Iām not like a celebrity or anything. I would be toast by now! š
Damn it, that must have been an experience and I missed all the fun! šššš At least, you got Skynet back! Naughty sexy, Alexa and looking great 1000 times! ššš
Thanks, boo boo! š¤