So I’m laying here naked…

Dear Diary,

So, I’m laying here in the bath (I’d post pics but since this entry is also going on my public Patreon feed I can’t 😭) thinking about my brother. Bet that got your attention. See, we had a conversation a few hours ago about problems that I’ve been having with a certain phallus-wielding biped I’ll just name “Dante,” and it got kind of interesting. Relationships can be bittersweet, especially when both of you want the same thing but Life keeps getting in the way. It’s what caused the breakup with my last partner (Rebecca) and what’s always driven a divide between the people I hold most dear and me.

See, my problem is my work ethic.

It’s a bit extreme.

Whether it be my real job, my writing, or my side projects, I like to keep myself occupied. I enjoy so many things that don’t really require other people: games (mainly computer, though recently that has been shot in the foot until I get my new tower), anime, manga, movies, (obviously) writing, reading, audiobooks, Netflix, Hulu, etc. Etc. Etc…

If I try not doing any of these things for too long (especially writing) I get testy, antsy, and eventually hostile. And then I start having nightmares. It’s like a strange creative buildup that begins to turn acidic if it isn’t released. Does that make any sense? Anyway, my big brother unit told me that most of my problems are mental (shocker there 😅) and that most of these are a matter of perspective. I told him he was full of shit (as a baby sister is legally obligated to do) and he responded by digging out a copy of We’re All Doing Time by Bo Lozoff, with a foreword by the Dalai Lama.

You should have seen the stink-eye I gave him when he handed it to me. I am highly skeptical of religious books and was stunned that my brother (who is about as Deist as they come) even had a copy. But, as many of you know, my brother is pretty much the love of my life, so I decided to trust his judgment and crack the book open.

My mind was fucking blown. I had to tear myself away from it.

And it really made me think.

Life is so short, and it’s filled with so much pain and drama – on the flip side, of course, it’s also filled with love and happiness. I was thinking about this when a simple, yet profound thought invaded my mind: Life isn’t filled with anything, all those feelings and experiences come from people.

People.

And then something else dawned on me: I hate mustard. With a fiery passion you would probably be shocked to witness. I dislike the taste so much that it literally angers me when it’s offered. 😅 Silly, I know, but true. What does mustard have to do with anything? Well. See, since I hate mustard so much, I don’t use it in my food. Following me so far? Life is a lot like a recipe, an organic, constantly changing recipe. And people are the ingredients. How your recipe (Life) tastes (feels) is almost entirely dictated by the ingredients (people) you allow in it.

So, in conclusion, just like when you cook, if something tastes off, check your ingredients and see what’s making it taste that way – and then correct your recipe. This revelation was a bit of a paradigm shift for me, and it’s given me a lot to think about. What people do I need to let go of in my life to make it better? What people shouldn’t have even been there to begin with?

As I wrote, I have a lot to think about…

Anyway, writing-wise, everything is going fantastic. I just finished Sera, the fourth entry in the seven-part Exitium Mundi series, and have already started drafting the fifth book, Mike. I’m actually thinking of maybe stepping away from the Exitium Mundi universe for one quick light-hearted story, because Sera kind of did a number on me. I dunno. Another part of me doesn’t want to give up my momentum…

I also approved the audiobook version of Erotic Urban Legends: Broken Wings for its final production – which means it should be publicly available soon!

And then there’s The Siren’s Song, which is now officially available for September 1, 2019 preorder! Of course, if you want to read it immediately, you can snag the paperback and have it within days. It’s a crazy kinky story that you should definitely check out. It has heavy Wiccan themes and is drenched in sex and romance. Mainly sex. 😅

Anyway, that’s all I have to report for now.

Be good to yourself.

And thank you for reading!

#Alexa

 

💡 The More You Know 💡

Women who take hormonal contraceptives tend to be more attracted to men with lower testosterone levels and less super masculine physical characteristics according to research. But women tend to desire overtly masculine men during their most fertile times in their cycle (and more likely to stray during that time as well). That time period is also the easiest time for women to reach orgasm.

 

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