Do not inhale taco meat!

Dear Diary,

Do not inhale taco meat! I’m serious. Don’t try it. I speak from personal experience when I write that this is a painful, life-changing event. Interestingly enough, it can also be thought-provoking and introspective.

Let me rewind a bit.

I was switching back and forth between furiously typing away at the rough draft of my current project, Devious Bitches, and catching up on last month’s tasks when my big brother came into my office and announced that we were watching a movie. I raised my eyebrow and informed him that I was busy. He nodded, walked over, and picked me up from my chair and carried me to the couch, carefully sitting me down and grabbing a plate of tacos for me that he made for dinner. His girlfriend was already there, as was my pet squirrel.

Fast forward an hour.

There I was, sitting on the couch, sharing tacos with my pet squirrel next to my big brother. His girlfriend was sitting on the floor in-between his legs. She likes to sit on the floor for some reason; me, I refuse to even walk around barefoot. I will straight levitate if I somehow miss putting on my house slipper.

Anyway.

We were watching this weird little movie on Netflix called Cam about this cam girl that gets her identity stolen by some paranormal… you’re just going to have to watch it yourself. Shits weird, yo. Anyway, at one point in the movie the plot is revealed fully, and it’s sketchy as all hell – and makes almost no sense. My big brother, right as I was rolling my eyes and taking a bite of my taco, busted out with, “Get that 2020 shit out of here!”

I lost it. I laugh-snorted, which caused me to inhale taco meat, shoot it out my nostril straight bb gun style, and BOY. The pain! My pet squirrel went flying, I kneeled over and spilled my plate right on his girlfriend, my brother started pat-slamming my back like he was a chiropractor or something… I wasn’t at my sexiest, y’all. 😭

I understand where he’s coming from, though. 2020 Was a hell of a year, filled with chaos, drama, and heartache. So much so that I, and many of you, are dead set determined to not let this year be anything close to the previous.

I know, it started out a bit rocky, but just because something starts out bad doesn’t mean it will end that way. Personally, I can’t wait to see what the year holds. Sure it will have letdowns and drama, but that’s just Life. I expect it.

So here’s to a new year.

Keep your heads, hearts, and souls up.

There’s nowhere to go but up. 🙌

#Alexaliens

 

“I have tried sex with both men and women. I found I liked it.”

Dusty Springfield

 

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