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Being a naked fidget spinner

Dear Diary, I went to bed last night and was so restless that I probably resembled a fidget spinner as I twirled around on my bed, flipping through position after position trying to get comfortable. I was all over that motherfucker. Luckily, I was in bed alone. Otherwise, someone would have ended up on the…

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Beautiful disaster

Dear Diary, I dived out of bed seconds after waking up, ass naked, and ran out my bedroom door. I knew (hoped 😳) my brother was at work already, and for some reason, that motherfucker didn’t wake me up this morning like he usually does. Of course, this wouldn’t normally be a problem, but I…

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Why my panties unexpectedly dropped

Dear Diary, I hopped out of bed this morning at the usual time, went through my regular daily routine, trekked to Anne’s, set up my laptop and peripherals, turned the lights down, slipped on my headphones… And then took them off and looked back at Anne with a blank expression and announced that, for some…

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Blue. Waffles. 😳

Dear Diary, As lovely as it was yesterday to relax and unwind, it felt so good to jump back into my routine and start writing again. Well, I didn’t exactly fall back into my routine – I woke up shortly after 4AM and started everything early just because I was so anxious to let loose…

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Why I was twitching and an epic resting bitch face

Dear Diary, I had no idea how tightly I was wound up until I took the day off and was practically forced to unwind. Just relaxing alone was amazing, but spending the majority of the day with Rebecca made it so much better. It was like I exhaled a breath I didn’t even know I…

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Good news, bad news, kinky news, and pussy points

Dear Diary, So, I have some good news, some bad news, and some kinky news.   Da Good News I didn’t wake up with a hangover. 🙌 Amazon must have read my Diary entry last night because roughly 15 minutes after I published it they accepted the paperback edition of Good Girls Gone Bad. If…

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Fuck Amazon. And whether or not to send noods.

Dear Diary, The entire theme of my day has to be fuck Amazon. It seems like every spare second of my day has been taken up going back and forth with them over the motherfucking cover for the paperback version of Good Girls Gone Bad, which they swear is either 1) too small or 2)…

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What dat mouf do?!

Dear Diary, Anne is hostile at the moment. I spent almost all day at the dentist with her because we got tired of waiting for word back from the first place we went to, only to be told that she has something like three dozen things wrong with her mouth that need to be fixed.…

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