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21e73d0af0b358bf8734ab7ad7bf10efDear Diary,

You ever have one of those days where everything just makes you stop and reflect? Where even the simplest, most mundane things seem to give you pause and almost force you to ponder them? Everything just seems to have more significance, deeper meaning, and life in general just seems to have a surreal quality to it? Almost like your dreaming, but it’s a lucid dream, and you’re more of an observer than a participant in the happenings going on around you?

Maybe it’s just me, but every once in a while, this happens. Like today.

I cranked out my normal six hours of writing like I was in a fugue, then after just sat back and weirded out. I checked off task after task, both business and personal, but did so in a completely different state of mind than usual. Almost zombie-like. Productive and methodical, but entirely on auto-pilot.

This went on for most of the day until my brother got home from work and, ever the observant creature, looked at me for maybe 30 seconds and picked me up (in the middle of making a sammich!) and sat me on the couch. He then popped on Netflix and put his log of an arm over my shoulders and kicked back.

I turned and looked at him with wide, unblinking eyes. I have OCPD bad, so when I started developing nervous ticks over the food sitting out and the incomplete nature of my sammich, I expected him to let me up to finish eventually.

But he didn’t.

It was absolutely maddening.

After a while, the irrational urges faded and I just sat there, being held, blinking like I was an alien and watching but not really seeing the images flashing across the screen. And then I kind of just…melted into him. It was like a weird transference, like he was somehow able to suck all the weirdness out of my mind, and after a while, I started feeling normal again. Well, normal for me at least. More relaxed and upbeat for the first time that day.

It was beautiful. And enigmatic.

I was sitting there trying to figure out a way to tell him thank you, to try and explain the strange state of mind I had been in all day, but he beat me to the punch and said, “Sometimes a little chaos is therapeutic.”

I just looked at him and blinked again, not knowing how to respond.

And then he smiled and said, “Now can you please finish making my sandwich?”

He totally deserved the spider monkeying he received.

I never did finish making that sammich.

Anyway, goodnight, #Alexaliens. Go do something nice for someone you care about, even if it’s a small, simple gesture. What seems trivial to you might not be to them…



“I’m a sexually liberated woman that earned that liberation. I am very proud of the fact that I feel comfortable in certain forums discussing sex.”
– Gennifer Flowers


  1. Ronnie Mullins on January 3, 2018 at 8:28 pm

    Awe what a great brother unit you have. He truly loves you from the bottom of his heart. Im kind jealous though, wish you’d spider monkey me sometime lol jk no im not

    • Alexa Nichols on January 4, 2018 at 8:23 pm

      Yeah, he really does love me. And I love him back. Loads. 😊

  2. Lamar on January 3, 2018 at 9:01 pm

    Alexa, sometimes that happens to me from out of nowhere on some days. But, at least you got back to yourself very quickly and had a good day. 😊 Keep on rocking, sweetie! Yet, you gotten a spider-monkey out of the ordeal! 😜 I had almost bought Girl Fight on paperback today despite getting some B-Movies and I can’t wait to buy it asap!

    • Alexa Nichols on January 4, 2018 at 8:24 pm

      Let me know when you get it! I can’t wait for you to tell me what you think! ❤

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