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Dear Diary,

Disclaimer: I am not 100%. I’m not even halfway to 100%. Half my face is immovable (Bell’s Palsy), my right eye looks like it came straight out of Satan’s head, I still have one of my two ear infections, my gums are finally starting to heal, and I have to take frequent breaks when I’m doing things because my energy is almost non-existent.

Not that I’m letting any of that stop me, of course.

I’ve been out of things for a little over a week, and I just can’t do it anymore. Creatively I was starting to feel like I was going to burst, and as I watched all the tasks (both author and personal) pile up, I was slowly being driven insane. See, I am not a procrastinator. I start getting nervous twitches whenever I think I may not get everything done by the end of the day.

I’m very driven, yes, and that’s probably why I had to take a brief break to begin with: I kept ignoring the signs my body was trying to give me. I thought I could push myself just a bit further, get just one more story done. Repeat. Those things begin to add up. In my case, they nearly killed me.

I learned my lesson. I really did. This was a big wake-up call concerning my work-ethic, and to a greater degree my health. It all boils down to more writing, less socializing, and more focusing on quality and not quantity.

Because writing is my life. No, not just erotica, although that is definitely fun to write. Writing. All genres. On my Patreon it says, “Alexa Nichols is creating romance, fantasy, sci-fi, dystopian, horror, and erotic novels,” and it’s not lying. I write all of that. All the time. And my mind continually crafts stories I put on the back burner concerning them. Why do I have so many stories written and unpublished? Because I write like a fiend. I have a passion for my work, my Art. Even if I didn’t sell a single eBook, audiobook, or paperback, I would still do this just as fervently as I do now.

Because I can’t help it.

I will be writing until the day I die.

Hopefully, you have something you feel just as passionate about, something that keeps you sane and warm and stable when the rest of the world seems to constantly try and do the opposite. Something that’s not only a part of you, but bigger than you.

If you don’t, why not? 🤔



“Some of the History Channel’s documentaries involve docudrama segments and are highly speculative – but there seems, on the part of the producers, to be a real determination to get at the history behind our past – not the sex, which is left to drama shows and entertainment channels.”

– Nigel Hamilton


  1. Anne Barrett on July 9, 2018 at 10:57 pm

    Alexa hey girl how are you feeling today? I am coming over this weekend to hang out with you. I know you are trying to get better. How is your writing going? Have a great night sweet dreams sleep tight

    • Alexa Nichols on July 10, 2018 at 6:39 pm

      When you come bring beer! 🍺 But sneak it in because my big brother unit’s being a dick and trying to restrict me from it! Some bullshit about being healthy or something. My eyes glaze over when he gets on that tirade. 😳

  2. Lamar on July 9, 2018 at 11:00 pm

    I’m glad that you are back, Alexa even without the lack of writing for a week! 😊😘 All in process, I guess of getting back into it.

    • Alexa Nichols on July 10, 2018 at 6:43 pm

      It was so hard not writing, boo boo. I kept trying to and getting dragged away from the computer by my big brother. Literally. Just because that motherfucker is three times my body weight (mostly muscle), he thinks he can manhandle me. OK, maybe he can, but that’s OK – guess who still can’t find their cell phone?? 😅 (Spoiler: him. Furthur spoiler: it’s under my pillow. Furthur furthur spoiler: if anyone snitches, they’re dead.)

      • Lamar on July 11, 2018 at 1:53 pm

        Don’t worry, Alexa, I won’t tell, honestly!

  3. M.R. Leenysman on July 9, 2018 at 11:31 pm

    “I will be writing until the day I die.”

    Well, don’t be in a hurry to make that true. You still need to write a LONG autobiography.

    • Alexa Nichols on July 10, 2018 at 6:45 pm

      Oh my god that will be insane. 😳 Especially if I keep it 100% truthful…

      You’re right though: I need to take it easy. Normally I’m cool, but too much hit me at once. I thought I could fight it all and still be productive, but turns out I couldn’t. I hate being human sometimes! 😭

      • M.R. Leenysman on July 10, 2018 at 9:01 pm

        I find that when I get a cold and/or sinus infection, it’s usually because I’m worn down by stress first, that it reduces my natural immunity. In that case, rest and relaxation are the best preventatives. Can I also suggest that some of your relaxation time be something other than video games? They can actually increase your tension level, rather than lower it. Maybe add “Read, 20 minutes” to your daily routine, as a way to keep your long-term productivity up, even if it seems non-productive in the short term?

        I’m not trying to be a pain here. It’s just that I lost my wife to her compulsions, alcoholism mainly, and seeing you describe yourself as feeling compelled to write, essentially being a workaholic, strikes a nerve and makes me want to intervene. I saw “writing until the day I die” and imagined it becoming “writing until the day it kills me”. Don’t let it happen.

        • Alexa Nichols on July 12, 2018 at 7:07 pm

          I love you so much. (And to think I thought you hated me when I first started!) AND YOU ARE NOT A PAIN IN THE LEAST!
          So few people have a genuine concern for others that its refreshing (and uplifting) when you find someone not afraid to show their softer, empathic side. So thank you. And just so you know, I’m taking your words to heart: I just added “read an hour before bed” into my daily schedule. 😊

  4. Richie on July 10, 2018 at 9:50 am

    Glad to hear you’re doing better. We all miss you!

    • Alexa Nichols on July 10, 2018 at 6:46 pm

      Thank you! 💖 I missed you all too!! 🤗

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