I love my big brother. I don’t talk about him a lot in my Diary entries (mainly because he asked me not to 😅), but he is hands down the most cherished person on the planet to me. We’ve been through so much, things that only a handful of people (and, well, my Patreon subscribers) have any idea about. I honestly feel that he is the only one who truly understands me; who truly accepts me for who I am.
He is the person responsible for making me who I am today.
In fact, it was his encouragement that led me to put my head down and write like my life depended on it this week, resulting in my writing 1,954 words today coupled with hours of studying the Amish community, and the day before yesterday bleeding out 3,625. I would have written more today, but he literally walked into my room, picked me up from my chair, and threw me on the couch so we could watch some movies together. I was irate at first, because I had things I really wanted to do writing-wise, but as he refused to let me get up I softened and realized exactly what – and why – he was doing what he was: I had not left my room in days, and he really missed spending time with me.
Amusing side note: I caught a glimpse of myself in the hallway mirror as we passed, and I looked like a wildebeest. 😳 Eyes bloodshot, hair unkempt, a slight twitch in my right eye. All the result of being on a weeklong writing binge.
Once I realized why he did what he did I melted into him, cuddling him like my life depended on it, and we spent the entire rest of the day watching movie after movie after movie. Not that I really cared what the fuck we watched at that point, I just wanted to spend time with him. It dawned on me that we hadn’t done this in forever, as he has a hella work schedule/personal life and I’m just a writing fiend (coupled with an on again/off again affair with my ex, Rebecca). In fact, the last time we did something like this had been months ago. Months. That is way too fucking long.
It won’t happen again.
Learn from my mistake, if you can. If you have someone in your life that is nudging you to spend time with them, listen. Real Life can get hectic, yes, but not everyone is like my brother: instead of physically picking your little ass up and throwing you on the couch, they might just… fade away. Which is horrifying, because so few people actually care enough to want our time for the right reasons. You should cherish the ones that do.
Which is why I’m taking the weekend off the internet in general and following my own advice.
I put a post on social media the other day, and it seems appropriate to share it again now:
Take this with you today: just for a moment, ignore all the online bullshit. Wipe away the news. Forget your problems, both financial and personal.
YOU ARE ALIVE.
And you matter. Your life matters. People appreciate, respect, and love you.
I love you.
P.S: Erotic Urban Legends: That’s What Friends Are For is available for December 1st Preorder, so go snag yourself a copy!
If one is going to change the definition of marriage to be, quote, ‘same sex,’ then there is absolutely no valid argument constitutionally or rhetorically you can make against multiple people getting married. These are radical social changes.
– Gary Bauer