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Being disenchanted… and a devious bitch.

Dear Diary,

I tell my Patreon peeps a lot about the private things going on in my life, things I don’t usually share on social media because… well, private, and these people (whom I lovingly dub my #Alexaliens) are helping fund my dream of becoming a writer – so I consider them family, you know? That’s why I have all my social media notifications turned off except for theirs. I love them. 🥰

Anyway, I tell them a lot, and one of the things I told them a while back was how sick I was. See, I basically have the immune system of an alcoholic 90-year-old drug addict, and taking my Baby Squirrel to the hospital several times a week for breast cancer treatments means I’m constantly surrounded by sick people. It’s a recipe for disaster. Not that it’s going to stop me, of course, cause being there for her matters way more to me than my health, but still. It’s like walking over a field of landmines. Here’s a portion of the post that I sent to my beloved #Alexaliens a while back:


I’m not doing well.

I’ve been sick as hell recently, and I can’t seem to shake it, or put my finger on why. I tend to stay away from sites like WebMD because, you know, every symptom you have means you’re going to die, but from what I’ve learned on other more reputable sites, I may have bronchitis. I have all the symptoms: rattling chest, frequent coughing, extreme fatigue… I tried working at the beginning of the week but just couldn’t, so I took a few days off and tried attacking work again. So far I’ve been able to work in short bursts, but my motivation is so small that it’s kind of alarming.

I haven’t been very active on social media because, for some reason, I feel oddly disconnected from it. I look at some of the posts and they just seem inane, repetitive, and… well… stupid. The sole exception: Selina, my beautiful and talented eWife, who is absolutely killing Ko-fi and social media in general. Everything else just seems lame and dull.

I love socializing, but lately, I haven’t really seen a lot that inspires me to do so. So I’ve kind of been ghosting. I turned off all the notifications on every social media site except Patreon (cause I never want to miss a message from you guys!) and tried to rest as best as possible. Of course, I have many responsibilities, so it hasn’t been very easy to do. It seems I’m always having to get up/travel somewhere for something, and mentally/emotionally, I just feel exhausted.

This doesn’t mean I’m not writing. Or creating Patreon content. Or shucking any author responsibilities. I’m not. I’m just having to do them in bursts instead of the typical marathon sessions I’m used to.

So now you know. And before any of you asks, there’s nothing you can do, and nothing special I want: just keep me in your thoughts, and keep sending me all the love. Cause a loli needs it. I’ll keep you guys updated.


That pretty much sums everything up. Time has passed, I’ve been keeping myself doped up on Mucinex, and I’m slowly getting back to my social media groove… even though I have to admit most of the things I see lately just make me roll my eyes. At first I thought it was just me being sick, but the more I think about it, the more jaded I’ve become with the entire concept of social media in general. I mean, it’s almost like no one is trying to be truly original anymore; they’re just trying to either be a comedian or a bandwagon rider. Not everyone, but the majority, which is why I’ve started pruning the people I follow (and interact with) on a near-daily basis. I love intermingling online, but some of that shit is just inane, even by my standards.

I see people that seem to be constantly on social media, and I just don’t know how they do it. It’s amazing. I mean, don’t they get tired of seeing the same generic regurgitated shit over and over again?

This is why I’ve been focusing more on writing than socializing, a decision I’m having a lot of fun with. In fact, I just completely finished Devious Bitches, a story set to debut on January 1, 2022. I can’t wait for you guys to read it; it’s my most insane story yet. And that’s saying something. 😄

Thank you for reading this messy collection of thoughts, and don’t be afraid to comment on any of my entries. I love reading comments, and I try to always respond.

Be kinky.

More importantly, though, be yourself. There is literally no one else that can.



“I trained to be a priest – started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind.”

– Johnny Vegas


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  1. Lamar on February 23, 2021 at 9:40 pm

    There’s nothing wrong with being disenchanted and life tends to get in the way! 😁

    Sometimes, I have been disenchanted lately due to work. 😬

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