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Being passionate and how I just keep getting weirder…

Dear Diary,

Let me tell you about the struggles of my life, yo. Let’s start with the largest, most grandiose of my struggles: passion. I am a passionate person in almost everything, including writing, friends, lovers, and even addictions. Unfortunately, I can easily become consumed by any of them, so more often than not, I have a glorious burnout and force myself to pull away and recalibrate, lest I go mad. I am not writing hyperbole here. It’s happened before. Yes, I know, I am a weird cookie, but there is a reason my favorite meme is:



It’s accurate. Not only is it accurate, but I’ve actually sat in a sink and licked plates. 😄 And no, before you ask, I am not explaining why. Anyway, moving on… madness. And passion. I don’t have many unhealthy addictions, but the ones I do have are motherfuckers. My biggest, which used to be drinking, I quit cold turkey on April 18, 2021. I write that in a light vein, but the reality is it was no walk in the park. My drinking, which I had been doing fairly regularly since my teens, quickly got out of control. It used to be I would drink every once in a while, like maybe on special occasions, then it became on the weekends, then every other day or so. Towards the end, it was a daily ritual, and after a particularly nasty hangover one morning, I took a good, long look at myself and decided enough was enough. I haven’t looked back since.

I decided that if I could do that, I could do other things as well, things that would make me even healthier. So I started amping up my daily workouts, becoming meticulous with things like step goals and activity targets, watching my calories for the first time in my life, and recently, I hit a wall with one of my hardest obstacles yet: no sweets. Guys, this one is a bonafide motherfucker. I failed twice at this. This is my third attempt, and hopefully my final. I had no idea cutting out artificially processed sugars would make me this volatile, but boy. 😳 I think I’ve gotten over the worst of it, but even last night, a craving for sweets came out of nowhere that was so strong Anne had to placate me – me! – and tell me I was strong, I had this, and she wasn’t going to let me eat any junk food. She was practically petting me and scratching behind my ear. I nearly tore her head off. I tried to distract myself with my current writing project, Little Dead Girls, but I couldn’t get in the flow of the story. If that makes any sense. So I decided to harass a few Patreon and Subscribestar peeps, and after sulking for several hours, the intense urge finally passed. For a while there, it was insane.

I know one thing quitting sweets has definitely improved in my life: my energy. So much so that getting to sleep at night is proving to be a challenge because I seem to have this reservoir of vitality that constantly bubbles to the surface. I need to find a better way to deal with this. It occurred to me why this has been so difficult earlier today: I’ve been eating sweets my entire life. Of course it’s going to be hard! So, if any of you has quit sweets cold turkey and have any tips, please drop me a private message on one of my social media networks (or even email) and let me know how you did it. I need all the help I can get, yo. 😭



“You know you’re an alcoholic when you misplace things… like a decade.”

— Paul Williams


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  1. Lamar on April 4, 2022 at 8:30 pm

    AWESOME SAUCE! Congrats on what will be one year exactly since you had quit drinking which I’m super proud of you, Alexa! Also, congrats on quiting sweets! 😊

  2. Kinky Richie on April 5, 2022 at 11:00 am

    Hey, Alexa, this is all great to hear especially the alcohol. Now don’t move over to excessive pot smoking because the attraction to sweets will only get stronger! It’s called: the M U N C H I E S! lol

    Seriously, keep up the good work to better health.

    • Alexa Nichols on April 6, 2022 at 1:27 pm

      Thank you, and I will! It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it. ✊

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