So I found out today just how much of a creature of habit I am: A HUGE ONE. See, I had to be at work and hour early today because I had to get off at around lunch and my boss wanted me to get as many hours in as I could, so I thoughts to myself Self, it’s only one hour. How bad could it be?
Fast forward to me damn near choking a bitch on the bus for sitting too close to me and spending the entire ride primping herself and posing for / taking selfies. Seriously. And my big brother J.C. didn’t help at all. When I texted him that I wanted to choke this bitch, his response was (and I’m copying and pasting here):
“If you think you can take her, go ahead. We have bail money.”
Which actually made me laugh…which I guess (hope) was kind of the point. I didn’t laugh because he was joking, however – I laughed because he was dead serious. (You have to know my brother to understand.)
The rest of my day was a constant string of resisting the urge to choke hoes.
Sometimes I wish I was Darth Vader so I could force-choke hoes. (If you don’t understand that statement, please quit reading this diary entry, slap yourself, then Google Darth Vader. And then come back. I’ll wait.)
And Rebecca, in her trademark perfect timing, hit me with this message while I was at work:
“I’ve Bin thinking. We shud muv n 2geder. CreslE.”
(Translation: I’ve been thinking. We should move in together. Seriously.)
Anyway, until tomorrow my loves.
“I don’t take drugs. Drugs take me.”
– John Holmes